Before she came
by Shiori's Notebook
Summary: They're different from each other... and they are best friends... and forever will be. What does it take to be a true friend? Both realize how important they are to each other. A glance at Natsume and Ruka's past before Mikan came into thier lives...


**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GAKUEN ALICE**

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**BEFORE SHE CAME**

**By 'orange-ideas'**

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_**Note: This fanfic is not based on the manga, I just made this based on the episodes I watched in the anime.**_

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_I'll be there when the world stops turning_

_I'll be there when the storm is through_

_In the end I want to be standing_

_At the beginning with you_

A raven haired boy sat under an old lifeless Sakura tree. He was hugging his knees and hid his face. Soft sobs can be heard.

Then a drop of rain fell on his head…

Then came another… and another…

The skies grew darker and the rain fell down harder and faster. It seemed it won't stop for a while… like the pain he was feeling at that moment.

Young Natsume hugged his knees tightly, trying to stop the tears streaming down his face.

He could almost hear the screams of his family as the fire burnt them to ash…

A car sped through the road, the puddles of water splashed his whole body. But he didn't care.

Why should he? It was just water. Rain water couldn't drown him… for now. But water isn't as strong and frightening as fire.

Fire. He cursed the person who gave him that power. Nothing good comes to it.

All it does… is burn.

Burn creations, precious things, LIFE. Burn everything… except the ones which he tried to break free of. It couldn't burn his memories… and feelings.

"Whatever." He said to himself.

"What's the use of having this power… if you can't share it?" thought the young boy.

"_Share… yeah right. Didn't you just share your power and burnt the town into a crisp?"_ a voice inside him said.

But no one was sure if it was really his fault. Yet he blamed himself… like choosing to carry the burden.

It thundered and a cold wind blew. Natsume shivered and rubbed his arms with his hands.

"I don't care. I don't care. There's no point in mourning. Tears won't change life." He scolded himself.

Then from a far, he saw someone running towards him. As the person neared, he saw it was a boy, just his age, w/ blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. It was someone he knew…

"Ruka…" he said softly.

The boy stopped running and stood in front of him, panting.

"Natsume, I-!" Ruka was stopped by a finger on his lips.

"See these tears? I promise you Ruka… this is the last time you'll see me cry."

His eyes were full of sadness and fury. Ruka just kept quiet.

**Ruka stayed with him… till the last raindrop fell from the sky…**

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On the grounds of Alice Academy, under the Sakura tree, a boy about the age of 10 was sleeping… peacefully. A manga covered his face, and his arms and legs were outstretched… a serene atmosphere.

But it wasn't.

The boy changed his position and lay on his side. Sweat trickled down his frightened face and his fists were clenched. This could only mean one thing… nightmares.

It happened very often that Natsume lost count. But anyway, who would want to remember those moments anyway? Although he tried hard to forget, it wasn't possible. For the dreams kept repeating inside his head every single day. And at times… he didn't want to go to sleep again.

Natsume wanted to see **them** again… but not like that. Seeing them burn into nothing and hearing their frightened voices calling out for help…

But there was nothing more he could do… darkness already swallowed him up.

He was past being a child, calling out for help. Because he knew… the darkness was too deep and dreadful for others to handle. And if they come close to him, they'll be engulfed in it as well.

People are like insects. They keep coming back, keep on multiplying. Bravely crossing every road, not knowing how dangerous it is or how vulnerable they are to harm. That's how Natsume thought they were. They keep coming towards him, no matter how hard he tried to push them away… they keep coming back.

Natsume was half awake when he felt someone sit beside him. He got the manga out of his face and sat up.

"Natsume… how are you feeling?" a worried Ruka asked him.

"I told you… I'm fine." He brushed away the bangs from his face and stretched his arms.

A gentle breeze passed by and they watched the fallen leaves dance with it.

"You had a nightmare again…" Ruka said as if he could read his mind.

"…" Natsume didn't reply. But Ruka knew he was right.

This happened every afternoon. He would always find Natsume sleeping under the Sakura tree. Then he would wake up with a frightened face, he was sweating and panting all over. Ruka knew he was dreaming about his family again. He felt sorry for his best friend. He wanted to free him from all the pain and suffering he has been through. But Natsume acted like a martyr, shutting every person away, even him. He wanted to help him… but he doesn't know how.

"Stop pushing me away…" Ruka told his best friend.

"I won't have to do that if you just get away from me." Natsume replied coldly.

"But I-!" Natsume cut him off.

"Enough Ruka. We talked about this already. It's my problem. Not yours." The fire caster stood up and walked away.

Ruka bent his head in grief. He knew his best friend was just looking out for him. Natsume wanted him to be happy of all the people he met… But Ruka knew that he himself could never be happy if his best friend was suffering so much.

"Natsume…" Ruka clenched his fists.

"I'm not that weak… I can try to save you from your pains…" Ruka said to himself, his bangs covering his mien.

**--------------------------------**

Natsume trudged his way back to his dormitory gripping his left arm that was bleeding. He was shot yet again. And the cat mask he was wearing almost got broken to reveal his identity. The opponents he faced today were stronger and he couldn't handle it alone. He knew Persona knows that… In the past missions, he had a partner to back him up. Maybe Persona thought he was getting too dependent…

The mission was a failure. Some of the members of the anti-alice organizations were able to escape. Persona would be furious about this. Natsume won't be lectured… he'll be punished… severely. If they want the job to be a success, why don't they, the adults, handle it? Why do they leave it up to kids?

Kids huh… well, not anymore. Others, like Natsume, have lost their innocence in a very young age. Knowing this, the academy took advantage of it. Using them like tools, draining all their energy, and leaving them… like a lifeless doll.

Natsume winced. The pain is becoming too much to bear. But he has to endure it. Just two more floors to go till he reaches his dorm.

Then he wondered, what will be his punishment for his mistake this time?

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Natsume groggily walked towards his classroom the next day. He just forced himself to attend his classes today, not that he cares anyway, but he knows Ruka will be worried. And anyway, after showing up, he could skip classes anyway, just as usual. After a tiring walk, due to the fatigue of his body, he arrived at the classroom door and languidly opened the door. He stepped inside and made his presence known. His classmates paused for a while, staring at him as he entered. He has that kind of effect on them.

As he entered the classroom, he was curious to know where Ruka is. Normally, he would wait for him to arrive every morning, or they'd meet in the hall way. But there was no sign of Ruka. Where was he?

Natsume called a classmate of his. "Hey. Where's Ruka?" he asked.

The guy shrugged. "Sorry Natsume. I don't know."

In a few minutes, the teacher arrived.

"Good morning-" the teacher was interrupted.

Natsume got up and walked out of the door. He was clearly pissed.

Nobody even tried to stop him from leaving. Not even the teacher. The reason? It's either because nobody cares or is just frightened.

"Ruka…" Natsume thought.

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Ruka was in his room, all alone, in silence. He sat in a corner shuddering. His eyes were wide and filled with unshed tears. Fear was the emotion present.

The pain was over.

But the trauma remains.

It was an experience he tried to forget. But it was too horrible that he thought he might have nightmares daily.

The pain he felt was too much. It was unexplainable.

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It all started in the middle of the night. Ruka woke up, finding it hard to breathe and sweating hard. He stood up and walked towards the door. A cold drink of water will do him well. As he reached out for the doorknob, his whole body ached all of a sudden. He started shaking all of the sudden. He fell down on the floor, his body feeling numb. It was as if his insides were getting burned. Ruka felt really hot and he suffocated. He felt as if somebody was strangling him and burning him inside.

This continued on for hours and hours. Ruka tried to scream for help, but he was already having a hard time trying to breathe.

The pain was unbearable for anyone.

His concentration was to find a way out of this mess, and find out why this happened. And who did this. Then his thoughts suddenly drifted to his raven-haired friend.

"Natsume…" he thought, struggling hard to breathe. "The pain… he feels… is much more than this…"

Ruka clenched his fists and shut his eyes.

"If I can't… survive this… then how will I… save him?" he thought furiously.

"I'm not weak…" he said to himself.

And he really isn't.

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The door suddenly burst open. Natsume stepped in. His pupils contracted at what he saw.

"RUKA!" And he rushed to his friend's side.

"It's (pant) over…" And Ruka collapsed on Natsume.

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Natsume sat on the chair beside the bed Ruka was lying on in the hospital. He was unconscious. The doctors couldn't explain what happened with him. So for now, he was given some well deserved rest.

Natsume felt guilty… and anger towards person who did this… to himself as well. He wasn't able to protect him. The only living person very important to him. He doesn't want to lose him. He felt the same emotions like the day his town was burnt.

It was as if it's happening again…

No. Without Ruka, he will have no more reason to live. That's how important his friend is.

Natsume clenched his fists and felt a sudden urge to burn something.

He looked out of the window.

And he saw someone.

Staring at him directly.

It was Persona.

'_You know what happens when you make mistakes…'_

Then he realized it. This was his punishment.

It was different from the other ones he used to receive.

Because this hurt too much.

So now, he knows what to do to protect Ruka.

Natsume felt helpless again… he wanted to cry. But he doesn't want to break his promise to Ruka, even if he is unconscious. He already did much to him.

**--------------------------------**

It was now a week after the incident. Ruka noticed that Natsume had been very distant and cold to him lately.

And he was sick of it.

He thought, that if he proved to him he survived that pain, he won't look down on him anymore. Or consider him a weakling.

But what happened was the exact opposite.

Ruka approached Natsume who was sitting under the Sakura tree.

"We need to talk." Ruka said firmly.

He had enough of his martyrdom.

Natsume glanced up and looked down again.

"No. Leave now." He said.

"No! Natsume, stop treating me like a weakling!" Ruka exclaimed. He finally let it out.

Natsume glared at him. Unbelievably, Ruka stared at him back, not blinking.

They stayed like that for a while.

"This is my life. Stay out of it." Natsume said.

"And this is my life. I'm going to do what I want." Ruka replied.

"Don't be stupid-" Ruka cut him off.

"You're the one that's stupid. Don't act like you're all grown up Natsume! You've got a lot to learn and so do I!" Ruka said fiercely.

Natsume was shocked. He remained silent and broke free of their eye contact.

"I know… and I've actually felt… the darkness that surrounds you…" Ruka started, his bangs covering his mien.

"… One day… I'll be able help you…" Ruka finally looked up at him with determination.

Silence. The sky turned orange as the sun slowly began to disappear from their sight. They used to watch sunsets together when they were young. Especially during lazy afternoons like this. But now, they don't have any intention to go easy. The situation is just serious.

"What if… you didn't manage to?" Natsume finally spoke up .

"**Then someone else will… but still, I'll stay with you… _till the last raindrop of the storm you're in."_**

Another promise made.

A promise to be kept.

A promise waiting to be fulfilled.

**--------------------------------**

Natsume was walking in the park. He was on his way to central town to meet up with Ruka. Then something on the ground caught his eye. A photograph.

He picked it up. It was a picture of 2 girls. He recognized one as the new student in his class, Hotaru Imai. But he was curious, who was the brunette beside her. The girl was smiling brightly, she must have a carefree personality. But there was still something else with that smile.

It felt… warm.

"That's mine." A voice behind him said.

Natsume turned around and saw it was Hotaru.

He stared at her for a moment and handed her back the picture. Then he walked away from her without a word.

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_A raven haired boy wearing a cat mask stood on top of the brick wall._

"_That boy, is one of the best in class, Natsume Hyuuga." Explained Mr. Narumi._

_The auburn haired little girl stared at the boy. _

"_Natsume… Hyuuga…"_

_Now we'll see if the promise will be kept._

**-Never END-**

**Okay, this genre isn't really my usual type in writing. But I guess 'experimenting' couldn't hurt! So how was it? Okay? Or not? Then send a review please! I put lots of effort into making this! **

'**orange-ideas'**


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